Saturday, 6 August 2011

Sadness :(

I'm sure it was only a week ago I wrote that I felt the luckiest person alive,well I'm glad I enjoyed that moment as it's all turned to s...t now!!On the up side the cancer has not spread to any other organs,the major down side is I have a 4.2cm tumour in my liver among multiple other ones that don't seem to have grown since 09,however this beast is causing me pain and discomfort so something has to be done pretty quick.It's not looking like they can just cut it out,so im thinking it will be poison( chemo).I'm not a huge fan of this stuff,and to be honest right this minute it's still not a definate choice of mine.I will be back at the Wesley on wednsday to talk with my oncologist with regards to options! I'm still interested in looking at some different ways of doing this,but I am aware that time perhaps isn't on my side right now.
My feelings at this moment are one of disbelief added with a huge amount of sadness,perhaps not the mind set I need to go into battle! I will however never give up.
Thank you to everyone's kindness and support,the most difficult thing right now is as a Mum I don't want any of this to be going on in the boys lives,I'm not a big fan when I am told it will make them stronger better people.I'm sorry but my boys are bloody amazing in my eyes,and they just need a normal Mum waiting in the wings as they go through life, there for when ever they need me.( ok so maybe I'm not normal!!)
I'm off to make the most of this beautiful Sunday talk soon.......

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