Peace at Christmas time

12/12/11

Second round of chemo today,then managed another 3hr Christmas shopping trip, today was hard in the chemo ward for Karyn and I, the whole reality of me just not being here this time next year is hitting us all at times more now than before. I suppose its about what this time of year represents. I'm aware that this chemo and I are in our own little battle at the moment as it will take a few more weeks to see if it's doing anything,but in the process I will be going a little more down hill,before what we hope is a small pick up point. I think that's why I'm aware of doing the 'normal' things I still want to do,and not let this consume my everyday.
The double vision has got worse which no one can explain,this is such a shame as now the eye patch just has to stay on all the time.
I am so grateful and at peace however,as I haven't had my head down the toilet and apart from the pain in my very swollen stomach I'm ok. I've been able to have two beautiful get togethers,yesterday the lovelies went to Karyns house where we had a lunch,laughed and cried,and I gave them all a very stunning red crystal glass to keep.
So you see I'm so happy to have got myself to this point and time in my life that I am surrounded by the most wonderful family and friends,i can relax and enjoy being
with,I'm almost feeling guilty of having it all! Ok so the health thing will be the undoing of me,but why think and live in the bad when right now it's looking pretty good,I do believe the planner in me has left the building and I'm left with the one day at a time theory,and you know what im liking it!
Enjoy the build up,talk soon .........