Saturday, 10 September 2011

Another Loss!

The last few days I have had that familiar feeling of my head tingling and woke up to little strands of hair falling out. S...t is all I can say,we were told it was a slight possibility but unusual,is anything on my side right now! Actually I don't mean that,the tumors have gone for the time being so that's a win.
Yesterday Sara Jen and I went off to see the Russian Ballet the matinee one as I'm no good at night time.It was really lovely,they did like a medley of different famous ballets so each scene was different.David had a lovely roast ready and the fire on when we got home. I am so cold all the time for some reason,so we've had to go out and get more wood,I thought winter was over.
Although I am still in pain I am hoping that from now on I will pick up and pull myself out of my misery,I joked with a friend this morning that while I was in Bali and I started to get this pain under my ribs,I am too stupid too think that is was cancer related and put it down to a yoga injury!Its almost like when I am well I am so totally convinced I am going to live for a very long time,then bang it shocks me when this sort of thing happens and I fall back down,this time I really have had to face the fact that I am not going to live a long time,and as you can imagine comes so much grief and sadness it's suffocating.I imagine I'm on a pond sometimes and there are these huge stepping stones and after this last lot of treatment I just jumped a few more of them,there's quite a few left and luckily I can't see the last one but certainly feel I'm standing somewhere in the middle of that pond right now!
I'm going to go and enjoy my day bed so catch you later,have a lovely Sunday.......

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