Saturday, 10 March 2012

Another Phase


Hello.....Well Sydney was fantastic, we didn't have the best weather but still mangaged to have a great time. The 'Mardi Gras' was on and although we didn't stay for the whole procession we saw some interesting sights! I missed a night out with the girls as I just know I'm not up to standing in a bar for a few hours,however I was awake when they all arrived home, and it was very interesting listening to how their evening went! I'm yet to see Joh's umbrella dance , but heard most of the bar enjoyed it!

I believe the chemo has finally caught up with me, as the last few weeks have been pretty awful.I spoke to the oncologist last week about taking a break, and it seems the decision is up to me. On paper he said I look not to bad at all and everything has dropped,however a part of him thinks let's keep going as it's working,but like he said he can often forget what the patient is going through. I know once I stop it will hopefully pick up my good cells ,but of course so will the others pick up.

Anyway I have decided that with weekly blood tests I'm going to stop the chemo.No one is sure of how long I'll get, but I really feel I could be enjoying life alot more if only for a short while. So it's chemo day tomorrow and I will still go in for my bloods to be done and I also have a bone strengthening drug each month but am hoping he's ok for me to stop.

I'm sure just knowing that the chemo has stopped I will pick up ,I'll forget the anti depressants until next round I feel. I had hoped to get to the UK again but realise now that it's just too far for me to travel and too expensive . Plus I really don't want to spend along time away from the boys. What I'm hoping to do is go back to NZ not in holiday time and just find somewhere with a good view ,have a good book or my knitting and slowly recover from all that horrible stuff pumped in me! So I'm not looking for much but if anyone knows of anyone that has a house to rent with a view I'm interested! Visitors welcome.

The boys are at Uni now and it seems full on already for them. Jack turns 18 on the 5th April and there was a time that I was just hoping to hang out till then, so I'm grateful in some ways for the treatment ive had as its definately enabled me to be around for that special day,plus a few more I hope. I joke and say its never going to be the right time to leave this lovely life as it doesn't fit in with events I need to be at throughout the year, but the truth is that each one I'm still here for I'm aware of how much luck I'm still getting!

I'm hoping life is going good for you all, and that with summer on its way out slowly! We can enjoy some lovely cool but sunny days. Keep happy .........

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