This last week or so seems to have been particulary difficult, my emotions have been all over the place,what with Jack finishing school,of course I was so happy to be there at his pre formal and his school leaving ceremony,but I'm so sad to think ok how long have I got to watch him go through the next stage of his life. Next I have been seeing double vision out of my left eye and although the CT was clear I decided to have a brain MRI to really make sure the cancer was not in the brain. It was all good, so yesterday I had an eye test and they couldn't see why the muscle wasn't working, I could take it futhur,but do I bother? They confirmed the cancer was not in my eyeball so it seems like it's just something else that I just have to live with.I'm worried about driving I suppose I could do what the optometrist suggested and wear a patch! Great roof down in my mini looking like a bloody pirate!! last night I started some tablets to take with the ones from the States that are making me feel so sick all day,they may help get the balance right in my stomach and help with the nausea,I'm so hopeful, it's been 3 months now of continuously feeling crap!
I will have everything crossed that the day of my gathering of lovely friends next Sunday all will be good!
Sorry it's not a very cheerful blog,the thing with all of this is you just have to go with the flow of how your feeling, really this week I had two lots of good news, as in it's not in brain or eyes, yet I felt no relief from knowing that,or very little. I still have a terminal illness that is bringing me down each day,so I suppose it's ok to sometimes just be a little p....ed off with it all!!
However the mind is very powerful and I know I still have the old me in there and it will surface again!!!