Friday, 11 May 2012

Day Bed

Good and Bad

13/5/2012 Since the last blog I went back into the Wesley to have another stomach drain, it practicaly filled back up within two days. I also had the chemo last Monday which hit me pretty bad on the Wednesday, vomiting etc. it's been about five weeks or more off it and I'd forgotten quite how crap it makes you feel! My oncologist and a radiologist have decided I need to have what's called a Denver Shunt put in, it's an operation where they place a little plastic pump inside your body ontop of your ribs so I can pump this fluid out back into my body where I guess you just pass it out! I hate any kind of operation especially when I'll have another round of chemo on Monday. So I haven't been told what day it is happening ,but pray for me it's not Wednesday as its going to be hard to handle. Emotionally it's been difficult,I think we are all walking around with that permanent pain in our chests. I am still able to enjoy parts of the day. It's lovely having close friends pop by, some bringing soups etc ,or rubbing my feet,or just sitting on the couch with David and the boys watching television. This weekend Jimmy has been at this huge architecture conference and loving it, Jacks getting stuck into his film and television degree,and looked smart going off too the races today. David put some blinds up for me so I can sit longer on my day bed outside,so in general life is good,just every now and again David and I will think of something else I won't be here to share with him do do with the boys mainly,and we have a good cry. Not to keen on going out too much as I'm sure people look at me and think she's getting on a bit to be 9 months pregnant. That reminds me I became a Great Aunty this week, we welcome Daisie Joy to the world, don't think you can have a happier name than that! I may not get to see her being in the UK but she's in my heart already. You will all never really know how much you have been a great support to me and my family, this bloody cancer is so cruel to everyone involved,but you all have made it so very much easier. Take care enjoy your friends and family, Happy Mothers Day, how proud I am to be a mum. Keep you posted on the hospital plan Suzy :( :) x

Wednesday, 2 May 2012

Short Update

3/5/2012 Hello Just thought I'd give you the latest. Over the weekend my stomach started to get bigger and bigger. I really wasn't sure what was going on ,but after a quick look on Dr Google something I always avoid doing it looked like I have Ascites ,fluid build up in the cavity that holds alot of your organs. Tuesday came and my GP confirmed it was that, so yesterday I had a needle put in and 2 1/2 liters came out,Wow! I do feel alot more comfortable but it's still swollen and my legs feel like jelly today. Having this happen has made me realise that I haven't really got the time to slowly decide about the chemo , so as I'm not ready to say I give up just yet I will have some more chemo starting Monday. I'm not 100%sure it's the right thing to do, but it may slow things down abit, even this fluid build up. Some of my lovely friends are in a mini Tri this weekend at the coast so the boys girlfriends and my sister are going down to stay two nights and make the most of the weekend. I felt very sorry for myself yesterday which really doesn't help me. Although nothing wrong with a big cry! However today I'm thinking ok well I'll have chemo next week and play it by ear, last week I needed two bags of blood so I can't see my body will be well enough for it each week. I've finished all my shopping just a few more cards to write,oh and finish my brothers scarf,although living in Singapore or Thailand there isn't a great demand for them! Love to you all, and thank you for your kind words and actions, it's so amazing to know people really care about you and your family .........