Lost it!

Yes I've lost it in more ways than one, but I really wrote that title because I had almost finished the blog and got a phone call and now can't find where it is! So sorry let's do a more condensed version! It's been 10days post treatment and I'd have to be improving because I'm bloody grumpy, I feel so weak and still in pain to breath in it's getting to me now,I'm just the best patient when I'm well ha ha!now I just want to be like normal and not have to rely on anyone to help me,that's pretty ungrateful I know but I'm sure many of you would feel the same or frustrated. Sara and I have just got back from the coast,we went down Thursday to have my Vit C boost and stayed at the lovely Carols unit,I am so lucky to be offered this as even though I wasn't driving I just want to lay down when I'm done not sit in a car for over an hour.
Yesterday I have also been lucky enough to be in touch with a coulpe who have just arrived home from spending time at a German Clinic. Even though our cancer is totally different I like what they are doing over there,and he was able to tolerate the treatment very well. The next plan for me is to gather some more information on a few others then make a plan for when I am felling better, there are options here one is to have this done again in a few weeks with radiation like last time or maybe even the chemo again,but there just has to be something out there better than this,I'm sorry but chemo feels like I'm dying slowly and I am still in the head space that says people are being cured or at least have a lot longer quality of life to live I choose that option please!
We did have a laugh yesterday as I wanted to see the shops but new I couldn't walk around so we picked up a wheel chair on the way in at pacific fair and it was great, I did feel like Andy off Little Britian as if Sara wondered off then I would get up,look around a rack then sit back down,I got a few odd stares when we parked it outside the long corridor of the toilets and walked down with all the shopping bags then got back in it!My arms wern't a lot of help but if you kick the foot rest away you feet can move you pretty fast around Myers!
We then stayed and watched a movie and although home by 7ish it was obviously too much for me as I felt pretty awful last night and I'm extra tired today,you see how annoying all this is looking at clothes ( I was good only brought $13 track pants!)is all part of my healing process don't you think!??
On the way home we stopped again at the Raw Food Cafe I told you about in Burleigh Heads,food was lovely,but today as I said I'm not good so eneded up bringing mine home for later.
I think I would like a fire tonight it's a bit chilly........